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Bay View News
Local news for Bay View, WA continually updated from thousands of sources on the web.
- Bay View Tower developers seek millions from Bellingham over permit flap
Developers say if the city doesn't give them millions of dollars to compensate them for rescinding a building permit for a 23-story tower, they'll sue to get the money.
- Joe Hamel Beach
A fielda s worth of eel grass lays exposed at low tide. Learn all about the beacha s namesake, Joseph Hamel, by reading a plaque attached to a massive stump.
- "Dog Day Afternoon" barks canine fun
A canine costume contest is only one part of a day dedicated to dogs. Published Oct.
- Trekking Skagit County
An updated version of the Skagit County Walking & Trail Guide is available. MOUNT VERNON - ' It's been four years since the last Walking & Trail Guide became available in Skagit County.
- Port of Skagit eyes trail system expansion
Bow resident Jim Shoop walks on a trail south of Josh Wilson Road Wednesday afternoon.
- Builder, farmer, foreman vie for commission seat
A builder and developer who wants to see the county, cities and tribes cooperate more, a dairy farmer who wants to preserve the county's character for future generations and a solid waste foreman who wants to ...
- Spinach Kids
Get the Flash Player to see this player. Scott Terrell Ivan Ocampo, 16, Nick Yerger, 13, and Evan Schafer, 13, look for "rogues" Friday in a spinach-seed field off Bay View-Edison Road.
- Small earthquake shakes Skagit County
A 2.4-magnitude earthquake hit the area early Thursday evening, according to the University of Washington Department of Earth and Space Sciences.
- Erin Earles | From Garden To Table
ERIN EARLES From Garden To Table New columnist helps you take asparagus from garden to table In just a few weeks the purple, pointy asparagus spears in my Bay View garden will be out of the ground and in to my ... via Anacortes American
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Questions Possibly Related to Bay View, WashingtonProvided By Y! Answers
Who will capture the 8th spot in the East?
Question:
and possibly the third spot?
Carolina, Washington, Florida, Philly, and Buffalo are all in a realistic position to wind up in the 8th spot in the East. Their schedules breakdown like this.
Carolina: Florida x2, Atlanta x2, Tampa Bay x2, Washington x2
Washington: Nashville, Chicago, Atlanta, Carolina x2, Tampa bay x2, Florida x2
Florida: Same as Carolina
Philly: New Jersey x2, NY Rangers x2, Pittsburgh x2, NY Isles x2, Atlanta
Buffalo: Tampa Bay, Toronto x2, Boston x2, Ottawa x2, Montreal x2
Seemingly, Philly has the toughest road to finish out. However, it is all going to come down to which team comes out of the Southeast the less scathed by the division contest coming up.
In my view, the Capitals are going to take the 3rd spot away from Canes. They play 2 chump West teams plus have a ga,e in hand on Florida and Carolina. With Washington moving up to third, who will drop into 8th? My pick, Florida Panthers.
Who do you think will take the 3 and 8 spots?
Answer:
I'm hoping the Panthers get the 8th spot because they have never made the playoffs since I've lived in South Florida, and I really want to go to a playoff game. Besides, they are on a winning streak. I went to the past two games and can see the Panthers excell. If only they had played like this for the whole season.
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WHat do you think about W's new idea for terriost?
Question:
The LARK program
THE LARK PROGRAM
A Lady liberal wrote a lot of letters to the White House complaining about the treatment of a captive insurgent (terrorist) being held in Guantanamo Bay
She received back the following reply:
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C. 20016
Dear Concerned Citizen,
Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Quada detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay,Cuba.
Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington.
You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK
for short.
In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care.
Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday.
Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers.
We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter.
Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him
overcome these character flaws.
Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling.
Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers.
We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.
Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except sexually), since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire.
I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka -- over time.
Just remember that it is all part of "respecting his culture and his religious beliefs" -- wasn't that how you put it?
Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job. You take good care of Ahmed - and remember, we'll be watching.
Good luck!
Cordially, your friend,
GEORGE W. BUSH
Answer:
I really think we should implement this plan.
with any luck,we'll wipe out rampant extreme political correctness within 6 months
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Should Gitmo be shut down...and the prisoners be brought to the U.S. for trial...?
Question:
Gates Reportedly Wanted to Close Gitmo
Reuters
WASHINGTON (March 23) - Soon after becoming defense secretary, Robert Gates argued the U.S. prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, should be closed because the international community would view any trials there as tainted, The New York Times reported on Thursday.
Instead, Gates, who became Pentagon chief in December, argued that terrorism suspects should be tried in the United States to make the proceedings more credible, the Times said.
The United States has brought charges against just one of the 385 foreign captives at Guantanamo. Australian David Hicks, 31, has been accused of providing material support for terrorism by fighting for al Qaeda in Afghanistan .
Hicks is charged under a new system of war crimes trials authorized by the U.S. Congress last year.
The United States has declared its intention to try 60 to 80 of the 385 foreign captives held at Guantanamo, including 14 "high-value" prisoners sent there in September from secret CIA prisons.
Some administration lawyers oppose bringing the captives into the United States because that would give them more constitutional and statutory rights, the newspaper said.
The Bush administration has insisted it needs to hold and try suspects at Guantanamo as part of its war against terrorism launched after the September 11 attacks on the United States.
Answer:
Gitmo
should be cracked wide open under a full scale International Investigation Commitee with full access given to a panel of Civilian oversight panelists that have NO ties to the current administration OR the military !!!
This place is totally counter to all of this country's claims of integrity in it's actions and is the largest "sticking" point to many nations seeing us as a rabid aggressor that speaks one thing in the open and does entirely different stuff under covert cover !!!!
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More Random facts?
Question:
• Steve Austin is a big time antiques collector!
• One of the band members who did DeGeneration X's theme song if Triple H's real life brother.
• Test (Andrew Martin) was trained by Bret "The Hitman" Hart.
• Brian Christopher and Scott Taylor were scheduled to have a gay marriage as a part of a storyline at a PPV, but Jerry Lawler, Brian Christopher's father strongly objected.
• Kane (Glen Jacobs) was born in Madrid, Spain.
• Edge (Adam Copeland) is actually engaged to Val Venis's sister.
• Kane (Glen Jacobs) has a degree in English and Teaching.
• Former WWF superstar, Tito Santana owns a hair salon in Roxbury, New Jersey.
• Prior to joining the WWF, Hardcore Holly (Robert Howard) worked as a full-time welder.
• Bret "The Hitman" Hart owns a professional hockey team known as The Calgary Hitmen.
• Shane Douglas and Headbanger Mosh have licenses to teach!
• Jerry Lawler and The Honky Tonk Man are cousins!
• Shawn Michaels is a huge fan of country singer, Garth Brooks!
• Bradshaw used to compete in the NFL, but had to retire due to a knee injury.
• Rocky Maivia is a skilled light tackle salt water fisherman.
• Along with Chyna and Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Perry Saturn was also trained by Killer Kowalski.
• Jimmy Hart composes most of the WCW stars' entrance theme songs.
• Colonel Robert Parker (Tennessee Lee in the WWF) used to wrestle under the name of Robert Fuller before retiring and becoming a manager.
• D-Lo Brown is a Certified Public Accountant!
• Vader knows how to play the piano!
• The Bushwhackers own a restaurant and it's called "The Bushwhackers Down Under!" It's located in the Tampa Bay area of Florida.
• Jerry "The King" Lawler is a die hard Cleveland Indians fan!
• Marc Mero won three New York State golden gloves in boxing before entering pro wrestling.
• Ahmed Johnson used to play football for the Dallas Cowboys.
• Chris Chetti was the first man to graduate from ECW's School of Hardcore.
• Kevin Nash played Super Shredder in "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2" the movie.
• X-Pac is a computer whiz!
• Duke "The Dumpster" Droese loves to do imitations and his best one is none other than Vince McMahon!
• Steve Austin is also good at doing impressions. His best is none other than Eric Bischoff!
• Brian Pillman played two years of football for The Cincinatti Bengals!
• Before entering the WWF, Rena Mero was a model for Guess Jeans wear.
• Before she married Brian Pillman, Melanie Pillman went out with Jim Hellwig (The Ultimate Warrior).
• Brian Lee (Chainz) was the best man at Mark Callaway's (The Undertaker) wedding.
• Greg "The Hammer" Valentine, Marty Jannetty, and Blitzkreig have all used The Hollywood Blondes' theme music.
• Scott Hall agreed to be the best man at Justin Credible's wedding but failed to contact him in the weeks before the ceremony and ultimately no-showed.
• Roddy Piper announced that his last wrestling match would be at WrestleMania III against Adrian Adonis.
• Terry Funk first announced his retirement in 1983.
• In 1995, Marcus Bagwell had calf implants which leaked and he had them removed.
• Vince McMahon, Jr. wanted to become a wrestler, but his father, the late Vince McMahon Sr. strictly forbid him in doing so.
• Before breaking into wrestling, Jerome Young (New Jack) worked as a bounty hunter.
• Tom "Dynamite Kid" Billington despises his cousin Davey Boy Smith so much, he can't bring himself to say his name.
• During one drinking session, Andre The Giant downed 119 bottles of beer.
• Barry Windham's father, Blackjack Mulligan served time for counterfeiting.
• Cactus Jack & Terry Funk were originally scheduled to face the New Age Outlaws in a Barbed Wire Match at WrestleMania XIV, but the PPV people forbid them to do it, hence the Dumpster Match.
• Back when the ECW/WWF angle was going on, the WWF was going to hold a live Raw from the ECW Arena, despite it's size. This idea was nixed however.
• Back in the 1980's Hulk Hogan's opponents were banned from mentioning his receding hair line in interviews.
• Stan Lane was once billed as Stan Flair because people thought he resembled Ric Flair.
• All Japan Pro Wrestling hasn't fed it's fans a count-out or a disqualification in over five years. • Shawn Michaels is married to former Nitro Girl, Whisper!
• Marc Mero didn't leave WCW over money issues. He left because of the angle he was in where he was involved with another man's wife. • Larry Zbyszko is a licensed pilot.
• Sid once backed down from a fight with Brian Pillman in a hotel bar, retreated to his car to arm himself with a weapon with which to defend himself and returned clutching a squeegee.
• Ted Dibase was once the Mid-South North American Heavyweight Champion.
• World Championship Wrestling was once called Georgia Championship Wrestling.
• In many of his WrestleMania matches Randy Savage would foreshadow the result of his bout by the color hat he wore to the ring. Two examples: 1 when he wrestled the Ultimate Warrior at WMVII as a heel and left as a babyface, he entered the ring wearing a white hat. 2. when he defeated Ric Flair at WMVIII to take the WWF strap, he wore a gold costume.
• Hulk Hogan agreed to drop the world title to the Ultimate Warrior at WrestleMania VI because he was planning on retiring and wanted to pass the torch on to his babyface successor so he wouldn't have to come back and get "revenge" on a heel for his fans.*Hogan forced McMahon to give him the strap at the end of WMIX by threatening to no-show his tag earlier on the show with Brutus Beefcake against IRS & Ted Dibiase.
• WrestleMania VII was moved from the Rose Bowl to the Sports Arena in Los Angeles because Vince McMahon feared a sniper might try and take out lead heel Sgt. Slaughter, playing the role of a Iraqi sympathizer during the Gulf War.
• Apparently feeling he had nothing to lose, Sid Justice doublecrossed Vince McMahon by kicking out of Hogan's legdrop at WMVIII. Sid had been caught cheating on a drug test a few weeks earlier and was going to be suspended. Sid's manager, Harvey Whippleman (who is said to have supplied Sid with the false urine sample that WWF official Dave Hebner found Sid carrying in a vile) reacted quickly, jumping into the ring and getting his man disqualified before all hell broke loose.
• McMahon wanted a Flair-Hogan main event for WMVIII, but before Flair surprisingly was unable to re-up on a contract with WCW, McMahon signed Sid with the promise he would wrestle Hogan at the next WM. So, McMahon went with a double main event of Hogan-Sid and Flair-Savage.
• Prior to WMX, McMahon had Lex Luger come out with the world belt for a television taping, scheduled to air after the pay-per-view. Either planning a swerve all along or changing his mind after word got out, McMahon had Bret Hart win the three-way tournament between Hart, Luger and Yokozuna.
• In 1994, WCW used to hire paid models and actors to sit in the audience to cheer and boo their wrestlers because the audience was usually dead for their shows.
• When WCW did the World Wide show, they used to have a monitor to tell the audience who to cheer and who to boo. One one occasion when Rick Rude and the Equalizer (the "heels") came out, the audience accidentally cheered for them and WCW had to reshoot their entrance over again.
• When Shawn Michaels was attacked outside of a nightclub by approximately 10 "thugs" (actually it was by a marine group), Shawn was accompanied by Davey Boy Smith and Sean Waltman (1-2-3 Kid). Shawn tried to be the brave one and he ended up suffering for it.
• The WWF says that the Dynamite Kid left the WWF and retired because of an injury. Actually, the Kid still wrestles in England and the real reason he left was because of a locker room fight with him and Jacques Rougeau. The Bulldog opted to keep contact with the WWF and because of that and other reasons, the Bulldog and the Dynamite Kid haven't spoken in years.
• On May 11, 1987, Kevin Von Erich collapsed in the middle of the ring during an eight-man bout pitting him, The Fantastics, and Bruiser Brody against Brian Adias, Black Bart, Al Madril, and Al Perez. Fantastic Tommy Rogers, seeing Von Erich turning blue, administers cardiopulmonary resuscitation.
• Bam Bam Bigelow was chosen as the opponent for Lawrence Taylor at WMXI because he was the WWF's best big man worker. Bigelow says that as payment for doing the job he was promised a big babyface push down the road. That didn't happen as The Cliq (not fans of Bam Bam) began gaining political power, and Bigelow wasn't with the company very much longer.
• The Undertaker is undefeated at WrestleMania's. His record as of right now is 9-0.
• Prior to entering the squared circle, Steve Corino worked in a milk processing plant in Philadelphia.
• Elektra was once married to Big Dick Dudley.
• Washington Redskins head coach George Allen once offered Andre the Giant a contract to play professional football.
• Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair's first match took place in October 1991 with the "Nature Boy" winning the contest.
• J.J. Dillon thought of the Model gimmick for Rick Martel.
• Rick Martel is a gourmet chef.
• The Warlord (real name Terry Szopinski) was forced to retire following a 1996 car accident involving a Pizza Hut delivery carrier. A lawsuit is depending.
• DDP credits Bobby "The Brain" Heenen for coming up with the name Diamond cutter.
• Spike Dudley is a former third grade teacher from Rhode Island before getting into the wrestling business.
• Kurt Angle's wife is a former stripper.
• In the summer of 1995, Kurt Angle failed in a tryout to make the Pittsburgh Steelers of the National Football League.
• Al Snow is well trained in martial arts, mat grappling, free style, hardcore, and shoot-fight wrestling.
• Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty won the WWF tag team title from Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart in October of 1990 at a taping for Saturday Night's Main Event. Neidhart had been fired and was filling contractual obligations, which including jobbing the tag titles to another team. In what should have been a minor point, the top rope broke at one point during the match. The Rockers defended the titles for a week after that, but then Neidhart was re-hired by the WWF, and Vince McMahon decided that the title change never actually happened, in one of the goofier decisions of the 90s, and one of many to affect the careers of Shawn and Bret. As an explanation, a story was sent to Pro Wrestling Illustrated about the rope break causing an "unfair working environment" for both teams, and hence the title reign was annulled. This was simply to cover up for the fact that they reported the title change as fact a week prior and needed a reason to no longer report it as such. The title change was edited out of the Main Event broadcast, and thus went down in history that the Rockers never had the belt.
• From 1986-1989 Ric Flair averaged 34 minutes per-match. In that span he had 19 matches that lasted longer than 50 minutes. • The Rock's wife Dany is the Associate Vice President of Merrill Lynch.
• Leatherface caused the scar on Mick Foley's left arm.
• Hulk Hogan earned 1.8 million dollars with his match up against Randy Macho Man Savage at Wrestlemania 5.
• Buff Bagwell, before becoming a wrestler was a model, exotic dancer and acted in a few Soft Porn flicks.
• The Peoples Eyebrow was first named the "Heat Brow". The Rock called it that in college, but he changed the name do to the fact that the name didn't catch on.
• D'Lo Brown began his career as the "head of security" for the Gangstas in Smokey Mountain Wrestling. He later debuted in the WWF as one of the many members of Faarooq's Nation of Domination entourage.
• Former Nitro Girl Fyre (Teri Byrne) attended Arizona State University, and used to be a mortgage home broker.
• Rick Rude was trained by Eddie Sharkey, who also trained the Road Warriors, Barry Darsow, and Nikita Koloff.
• The British Bulldog (Davey Boy Smith) paid the WWF $100,000 to get out of his contract to leave for WCW.
• The orginial Midnight Express was a six man tag team in Alabama, consisting of Dennis Condrey, Randy Rose, and Norvell Austin.
• Mark Henry and Pittsburgh Steeler Kevin Henry are cousins.
• Jerry Jarrett brought Rick Rude to Memphis, and gave him the nickname "Ravishing."
• ECW's Dawn Marie appeared in the original Austin Powers MTV special as one of the go-go dancers and actually had a couple of speaking lines.
• Gorgeous George, real name Stephanie Bellars, spent jail time as a teenager for burglaziring a home and slashing a girl's face with a broken beer bottle.
• "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan got the idea of bringing a 2x4 to the ring from the movie, "Walking Tall."
• Jim Hellwig (The Warrior) studied to be a chiropractor in Atlanta.
• Demolition Ax (Bill Eadie) is a former school teacher.
• Two days before WrestleMania 9, Hogan was injured in a jet-ski accident. That explains the shiner he had when he wrestled at WrestleMania 9. • Roddy Piper was Ric Flair's best man.
• Before becoming a wrestler, Val Venis used to race motocross.
• The Big Bossman was a prison guard in Georgia.
• Randy Savage was trained by his father, Angelo Poffo.
• Dusty Rhodes played college football at West Texas.
• Verne Gagne trained Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat.
• Lex Luger played college football at Penn State.
• Meng once wrestled as jobbber Larry Hurst.
• Johnny Ace once dated former adult film star Seka.
• Madusa is an accomplished singer.
• The original idea for UPN's Smackdown! was for an all women wrestling show.
• Kevin Nash was a doorman/bouncer at a Michigan night club before entering the wrestling business.
• Disco Inferno was released from his WCW contract in '97 after refusing to do the job for Jacquelyn (now Jacky in the WWF). He returned to the promotion later in the year only after agreeing to wrestle her. However, Ted Turner had a 'no man against woman violence' clause on his networks. So Disco had to avoid making physical contact with her throughout the entire match.
• Linda McMahon is a laywer. • Bad News Brown used the name "The Ultimate Warrior" before Jim Hellwig.
• "Sweet" Stan Lane is the only wrestler ever trained by Ric Flair.
• Del Wilkes sold the rights to the Patriot gimmick to Tom Brandi.
• Simon Diamond was a catcher on the Virginia Commonwealth baseball team for three years but then he got hurt and that ended his baseball career. He did eventually go back to college and get his degree in English.
• Bruce Hart gave Wayne Farris The Honkey Tonk Man name.
• Chyna is fully licensed to compete in boxing.
• The WWF considered giving Dustin Rhodes a "Gunslinger" gimmick, before coming up with Goldust.
• Rikishi has a brother that wrestles as Fatu in Japan. • Jimmy Hart thought of the 3 Count gimmick.
• Jimmy Hart and Jerry Lawler attended the same high school in Memphis (not at the same time).
• Prior to WrestleMania IV, USA Today got a copy of the post-WrestleMania WWF Magazine which listed Randy Savage as champion before the tournament (where Savage beat Dibiase in the finals) took place. McMahon publicly referred to it as a coincidence.
• The Ultimate Warrior left the WWF in 1991 because he and Vince McMahon did not come to terms on his future role...Warrior wanted to be in the title situation but the WWF saw differently...in 1992, the Warrior disappeared again because he did not want to get involved in a second-rate feud with Nailz.
• In 1991, Ric Flair was fired/quit WCW. He showed up in the WWF soon thereafter holding the WCW title and claimed to be the "Real World's champion." The reason he was able to leave the company with the title is because he owned that title. WCW later bought it back from Flair for reportedly $75,000.
• On May 26, 1987, Hacksaw Jim Duggan and the Iron Sheik were arrested by N.J. State police. Duggan was charged with possession of marijuana and drinking alcohol while driving. Sheik was charged with possession of marijuana and cocaine. Duggan received a conditional discharge and Sheik received one year probation.
• On July 4, 1989, Davey Boy Smith, Jason the Terrible, and Chris Benoit were injured in a head-on automobile accident in Jasper, Alberta. Smith suffered a cracked vertebrae in his back and needed a hundred stitches in his head after being thrown through the windshield of the car. Jason suffers 2 fractures in his left leg. Benoit suffers an injured right knee.
That before Mark Henry joined the WWE ,he was actually sponsored by Titan Sports during the 1996 Olympic's in which he compeated in the sport of weight lifting
Mark Henry and Pittsburgh Steeler Kevin Henry are cousins
Gorgeous George (real name Stephanie Ballars) ,spent jail time as a teenager for burglaziring a home and slashing a girl's face with a broken beer bottle.
Eddie Guerrero's father Gori invented the camel clutch.
Terry Funk is Jason Harvey's Godfather.
Ryan Shamrock's real name is Alesha Webb and she is a top less dancer form Houston ,Texas
The WWE's first pick for the Mr Perfect gimmick was Terry Tayor
Former Freebird Jimmy Garvin is now an airline pilot.
D'Lo Brown began his career as "the head of security" for the gangstas in the smoke mountain wrestling.He later made his debut in the WWE as a member of the nation of Domination.
Nitro Girl Fyre attended Arizona State University and used to be a mortgage home broker.
The Warlord (real name Terry Szopinski) was force to retire from wrestling following a car accident in 1996
ECW'S Dawn Marie appeared in the original Austin Powers MTV sepecial as one of the go-go dancers and actually had a couple of speaking lines.
Chris Chetti was the first man to graduate from ECW's House of Hardcore wrestling school
Taz and Chris Chetti are cousins.
Paul Wight played college basketball at Wichita State
Nicole Bass's married name is Fuchs.
Jerry Jarrett brought Rick Rude to Memphis and give him the nickname "Ravishing"
Rick Rude still held half of the NWA Tag team title when he signed with the WWE (The NWA later claimed that The Rock 'n' Roll Express won back thous titles in a match that never took place)
Rick Rude was for a short time managed by his sister Raven.
Rude was the only foreign talent to make the finals of G-1 Tournament in Japan.
That before Mark Henry joined the WWE ,he was actually sponsored by Titan Sports during the 1996 Olympic's in which he compeated in the sport of weight lifting
Mark Henry and Pittsburgh Steeler Kevin Henry are cousins
Gorgeous George (real name Stephanie Ballars) ,spent jail time as a teenager for burglaziring a home and slashing a girl's face with a broken beer bottle.
Eddie Guerrero's father Gori invented the camel clutch.
Terry Funk is Jason Harvey's Godfather.
Ryan Shamrock's real name is Alesha Webb and she is a top less dancer form Houston ,Texas
The WWE's first pick for the Mr Perfect gimmick was Terry Tayor
Former Freebird Jimmy Garvin is now an airline pilot.
D'Lo Brown began his career as "the head of security" for the gangstas in the smoke mountain wrestling.He later made his debut in the WWE as a member of the nation of Domination.
Nitro Girl Fyre attended Arizona State University and used to be a mortgage home broker.
The Warlord (real name Terry Szopinski) was force to retire from wrestling following a car accident in 1996
ECW'S Dawn Marie appeared in the original Austin Powers MTV sepecial as one of the go-go dancers and actually had a couple of speaking lines.
Chris Chetti was the first man to graduate from ECW's House of Hardcore wrestling school
Taz and Chris Chetti are cousins.
Paul Wight played college basketball at Wichita State
Nicole Bass's married name is Fuchs.
Jerry Jarrett brought Rick Rude to Memphis and give him the nickname "Ravishing"
Rick Rude still held half of the NWA Tag team title when he signed with the WWE (The NWA later claimed that The Rock 'n' Roll Express won back thous titles in a match that never took place)
Rick Rude was for a short time managed by his sister Raven.
Rude was the only foreign talent to make the finals of G-1 Tournament in Japan.
some facts are wrong! im sorry
dude im not this geeky i always copy crap !!!! doesn't every one!
Answer:
-Don't you just love having wrestlezone.com to get your info?
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Would a liberal here be kind enough to house Ahmed ?
Question:
A libertarian lady wrote a lot of letters to the White House complaining about the treatment of a captive insurgent (terrorist) being held in Guantanamo Bay. She received back the following reply:
The White House - 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue - Washington, D.C.. 20016
Dear Concerned Citizen,
Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment ofthe Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at GuantanamoBay, Cuba.
Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington. You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the"Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short.
In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint.
It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of carefor Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended inyour letter.
Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that yours ensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling.
Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offen dhim.
Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except sexually), since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm surey ou will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka -- over time. Just remember that it is all part of "respecting his culture and his religious beliefs" -- wasn't that how you put it?
Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job. You take good care of Ahmed - and remember...we'll be watching.
Good luck!
Donald Rumsefeld
Answer:
Read the book titled The Stark Decency. It's about a German POW camp. US guards treated the prisoners as human beings. They even became friends on occasion.
The military policy was to treat Germans well to induce them to treat our prisoners well. (nothing is perfect, but it's a start and a sound plan)
By the time the war ended, German prisoners were mourning the death of FDR way more deeply than the death of Adolph.
Further, everything I've read on interogation techniques points to treating prisoners better than they're treated back home. If you offer someone a better deal than they have now... they take it and they cooperate.
I don't give a hoot about other people's cultures. If someone wants to eat with chopsticks, fine. If someone wants to wear a towel on their head, fine. If someone wants to bow namastay to you every two seconds, fine. But human decency is human decency in any language and the only way to get it is to give it.
You can list all the reasons why someone should be treated poorly, and you would be 100% right. The irony is that the minute you start treating others poorly, there is only one direction to go, and that's down.
|
LARK feasible?
Question:
A person wrote a letter to the White House complaining about the treatment of a captive taken during the Afghanistan war. Attached is a copy of a letter they received back:
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C.
Dear Concerned Citizen:
Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. My administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington.
You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like you, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short.
In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter.
Ahmed's meal requirements are simple, but we strongly suggest serving meals that do not require utensils, particularly knives and forks. Also, these should be "one-handed" foods; Ahmed will not eat with his left hand since he uses it to wipe himself after purging his bowels (which he will do in your yard) - but look on the bright side.. no increase in the toilet paper bill. He generally bathes quarterly with the change of seasons, assuming that it rains, and he washes his clothes simultaneously. This should help with your water bill. Also, your new friend has a really bad case of body lice that hasn't been completely remedied.
Please heed the large orange notice attached to your detainee's cage: "Does not play well with others." Although Ahmed is sociopathic and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. He will bite you, given the chance, but his rabies test came back negative so not to worry.
We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We do not suggest that you ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.
Ahmed will not wish to interact with your wife or daughters (except sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of property. However, he will be eager to assist with the education of your sons; have available for their use several copies of the Koran. Oh - and rest assured he absolutely loves animals, especially cats and dogs. He prefers them roasted, but raw is fine, too, if they aren't more than 2 or 3 days dead.
Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you, who know so much, keep us informed of the proper way to do our job. We think this watching over each other's shoulder is such a good way for people to interact that we will be sending a team of federal officials with expertise in your line of work to your place of business soon, just to help you do your job better. Don't be concerned that they have the power to close your business, seize your property, and arrest you for any violation of the 4,850,206 laws, codes, regulations and rules that apply to your profession. They're really there just to make sure you're doing everything the proper way. That is what you wanted, right?
Well, thank you for this opportunity to interact with such a valued member of the citizenry. You take good care of Ahmed - and remember...we'll be watching.
Cordially, your buddy,
George Dubya
Answer:
Excellently written! It had to be said, and it could not have been done better. Bravo, to both you and the exquisite LARK program.
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What do you think of this program for libs who complain about treatment of detainees?
Question:
A lady liberal wrote a lot of letters to the White House
complaining about the treatment of a captive insurgent (terrorist)
being held in Guantanamo Bay.
She received back the following reply:
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C. 20016
Dear Concerned Citizen,
Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment
of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo
Bay, Cuba.
Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinion
was heard loud and clear here in Washington. You'll be pleased to learn
that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, the Department of Defense
is creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the
"Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or "LARK" for
short.
In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have
decided to place one terrorist under your personal care. Your personal detainee
has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed
guard to your residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud
(you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the
standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint.
It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant
caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of
care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in
your letter.
Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that
your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will
help him overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in
describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand
that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling.
Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand
combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or
nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these
skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of
explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to
keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend
him.
Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except
sexually), since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This
is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show
violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress
code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come
to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka -- over time. Just remember
that it is all part of "respecting his culture and his religious beliefs" --
wasn't that how you put it?
Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like
you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job. You take good
care of Ahmed - and remember...we'll be watching.
Good luck!
Cordially, your friend,
Don Rumsfeld.
Answer:
PERFECT......let the libs help them like they say is best....and after they get killed there will no longer be critics of the treatment these scum really deserve....
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Want to read a little story?
Question:
2010 Was Not A Good Year To Be President
Welcome to Toastmasters, June 13, 2033. That's right: 2033.
Today Rick Campbell, one of our senior members at age 87, is here to reminisce a bit and give us a history lesson. He says he is so old that he learned to drive an internal combustion engine car (remember those) with a manual transmission. He once owned a typewriter. He remembers when bicycles had one speed, phones had two-party lines, and cameras had something called film. As incredible as this may seem, he says that when he was young, it was common for people to smoke in restaurants and public places. He is from a different time; almost a different world.
I'm sure all of us are far too familiar with the tragic events of 2010, so Rick is not going to plow that fertile field again. Instead, he is going to give us a personal look back at the conditions which led up to that fateful year, in a speech titled "2010 Was Not A Good Year To Be President."
"2010 Was Not A Good Year To Be President"
Yes, 2010 was long ago and far away.
As we look back on history, it appears that some Presidents had an easy ride- times of growth and stability. Teddy Roosevelt, Warren G. Harding, Dwight Eisenhower, Bill Clinton come to mind. Those were good years to be President.
Others were elected just when the Republic was facing terrible crises:
Abraham Lincoln, Woodrow Wilson, Franklin Roosevelt, George W. Bush. They rose to the occasion, even though they were controversial and widely hated while in office. Not such good years to be President.
Just a few years prior, in 2008, the country began foundering. We were in the sixth year of the Iraqi Occupation, and the economy was flat. The mainstream press clearly wanted a Democrat elected.
Although we didn't know it until some years later, oil producing nations had colluded to secretly buy their own oil on the open market, driving oil prices to shocking levels above the true demand price- reaching a high of $162 a barrel in October, 2008, just before the general elections.
Their purpose was simple: to effect regime change in the United States.
And of course, the U.S. economy was already in a real estate slump and also suffering the curse of stagflation; slow growth and high inflation.
There were a million home foreclosures.
Independent truckers went under by the thousands.
Airlines failed. Airlines with names now long-forgotten: United, Delta, Northwestern, American. All now merged, of course, into the one lone U.S. carrier we love so much: Southwest.
Against this backdrop of weariness of the war on terror, and economic distress, the American people were ripe for a demagogue, and they certainly got one in Barack Hussein Obama.
He and his running mate Kathlene Sibelius inspired them with vague notions of hope and change; of a world in which diplomacy settled all international problems, of free universal health care, of abundant alternative energy, of peace and love.
It was a vision too good to resist.
The Republican nominee, a name you probably haven't heard in years anyone?
Yes, it was John McCain, an obscure Senator from Arizona had no clue how to run a national campaign, and a platform nearly as liberal as Obama's.
The selection of Condoleeza Rice as his running mate looked brilliant at first. Unfortunately, black voters viewed her as white, and women voters viewed her as one of the guys.
Even so, the McCain/Rice ticket would have won the election if it weren't for the fact that 16 percent of conservative Republicans voted for anyone remember? That's right, Bob Barr, another name that's a footnote in history.
After Obama's narrow win, thanks to recounts in Broward County, Florida, the country was positively giddy. A Democrat House, Senate, and President. At last an end to gridlock in Washington.
Camelot!
When Congress convened in January, 2009, the 44th President of the United States did something unique in history: he made good on his campaign promises.
Certainly most Americans never really thought he was serious during the campaign. But whether because of inexperience, idealism, or simply incompetence, he followed through.
In Obama's first One Hundred Days, the Congress passed his initiatives, and he signed them into law as he said he would.
He repealed the Bush tax cuts, and increased capital gains taxes.
He enacted a windfall profits tax, and instituted price controls on
gasoline and diesel fuel.
He passed universal health care, which added an additional 10 percent tax increase on all working Americans.
He signed the Immigrant Amnesty bill which created 12 million new citizens instantly, each with entitlements.
He closed the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay, and summarily released all the detainees.
He repealed the Patriot Act, and cut funding for espionage, and eliminated all terrorist listening and wiretaps.
Most important, he began the complete and immediate withdrawal of all American troops from Iraq.
He ignored the advice of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, who wanted to retain bases in Kuwait and Qatar. Instead, he went with the recommendation of Secretary of Defense Dennis Kucinich, and ordered all troops back to U.S. soil.
Viola! In One Hundred Days, by May of 2009, it was all done, and the vision was complete. He did exactly what he said he would do.
And so it was in the summer of 2009 that things began to unravel for Obama.
Of course, the economy needed a tax cut, not an increase, and unemployment quickly rose to 12 percent. Even attorneys and economists were put in the bread lines. Hard times!
Price con! trols on gasoline immediately led to shortages and gas lines.
The global cooling trend we have seen for the past 25 years first became obvious in 2009, exposing the CO2 global warming fraud.
People were justifiably angry.
Federal deficits increased massively because thousands of baby boomers, facing job loss and much higher taxes, simply gave up and took social security.
Although the superb U.S. health care system was thrown into disarray, the bright spot was the creation of the Federal Department of Health care, and the immediate hiring of 250,000 administrators, inspectors and auditors, the only job growth in any economic sector in 2009.
By February 2010, the U.S. military withdrawal from Iraq was complete. It was a very expensive undertaking.
And then in March, the gradual Shiite insurgencies from Iran turned into a true Iraqi civil war. In May, Iranian tanks crossed the border and quickly took Baghdad. Although the exact number is not know, at least 230,000 Sunni Iraqis died as we stood by.
Iran also quickly moved into undefended Kuwait.
President Obama did exactly what he said he would. He sent Secretary of State, Maria Cantwell, to Tehran to meet with Iranian President Ahmadinejad.
After two weeks of high level talks, the United States agreed to allow Iran to retain Iraq and Kuwait to create stability in the middle east, with the understanding that Israel would not be disturbed.
Cantwell returned to Washington, and explained the agreement in her famous speech, in which she proudly noted that the Obama administration had finally achieved "peace in our time" in the Middle East.
So there was some surprise at the rocket attacks on Tel Aviv on August 14th.
President Obama said, "This is not the Mahmoud Ahmadinejad I knew."
The Obama administration decided it would be de-stabilizing to take sides in the conflict, and approximately 29,000 Israeli civilians died during the summer and fall.
American Jews were appalled at the inaction. Yes, in 2010 most American Jews were Democrats, but because of 2010, they are solid Republicans today.
As awkward as it was, everything might have turned out all right for the Obama administration going into the fall mid-term elections of 2010, if it hadn't been for the dirty bomb in the Port of Long Beach.
The administration had cut funding for the inspection of containers,
because they felt it showed a "lack of trust" in the international trading community.
It wasn't really a very big bomb, and thank goodness, not a real nuclear device, but nonetheless it contaminated some expensive real estate-Newport Beach, Palos Verdes Estates- and ultimately caused the death of 14,000 Americans. People were especially annoyed that Disneyland had to be closed for decontamination.
And so, in the midterm elections, Republicans regained control of both the House and Senate, and the rest is history.
The impeachment proceedings against President Obama for "failure to protect and defend" were swift and nearly unanimous. Vice President&nbs! p;Sibeli us resigned. Newly-elected Speaker of the House, J.C. Watts, became the 45th President of the United States.
But you know the rest of the story well.
Republicans finished the war on Islamic fundamentalists, largely by aiming ICBM's at Mecca and Medina.
No Democrat has been elected President since.
Republicans have held both Houses of Congress.
History of Western Civilization and Economics are now taught in all public schools, and in English only.
Marriage is defined as one man and one woman.
And there are border fences, north and south.
We old codgers remember the ancient Confucian curse: "May you live in interesting times."
Well, 2010 was an interesting year, but it was not a good year to be president."
(Far fetched? We are likely to find out if we continue to be unaware of the issues and vote with our emotions rather than be studious in our approach to electing our "public officials".)
Elvira(aka nasty bi-ch)..and anyone else..I did not write a word of this, just put it out as it was foward to me..
Answer:
I give you credit for this!
|
McCarthyism? Again?
Question:
Washington - The senior Pentagon official in charge of military detainees suspected of terrorism said in an interview this week that he was dismayed that lawyers at many of the nation's top firms were representing prisoners at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, and that the firms' corporate clients should consider ending their business ties.
The comments by Charles D. Stimson, the deputy assistant secretary of defense for detainee affairs, produced an instant torrent of anger from lawyers, legal ethics specialists and bar association officials, who said Friday that his comments were repellent and displayed an ignorance of the duties of lawyers to represent people in legal trouble.
"This is prejudicial to the administration of justice," said Stephen Gillers, a law professor at New York University and an authority on legal ethics. "It's possible that lawyers willing to undertake what has been long viewed as an admirable chore will decline to do so for fear of antagonizing important clients
Answer:
I find it absolutely astonishing that you guys don't get it.
First of all, privacy is merely an illusion these days. ANYONE - not just the government - can find out pretty much whatever they want to know about you.
As to the wire taps, if you're calling Hamas or Al Qaeda, you are a threat to the country and shouldn't expect any privacy. Besides, with most people using cordless phones these days, anyone who wants to can listen to your conversations.
The LEFT is eroding OUR freedoms. I don't care how "evil" you think I am, but I really don't give a rats butt about a bunch of mercenaries sitting in Gitmo. They were NOT soldiers of Afghanistan and should not be afforded the rights of a soldier. They sure as hell aren't Americans, so they don't deserve our rights, either. Hmm - I have an idea- why don't we find out what type of charges they would face for murder, etc in their home countires, and apply that justice?
Go ahead and worry about trial lawyers and terrorists. Someone else will worry about America. I hope.
|
SURVEY: Ever heard of the LARK program for terrorists?
Question:
This, I think, was well put! What do you think?
Sandy :O)
> Dear Concerned Citizen,
>
>
> Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of
> the Taliban and Al Qaida detainees currently being held at Guantanamo
> Bay, Cuba.
>
>
> Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinion was
> heard loud and clear here in Washington
>
>
> You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens
> like yourself, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist
> Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept Responsibility
> for Killers" program, or LARK for short. In accordance with the
> guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one
> terrorist under your personal care.
>
>
> Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for
> transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next
> Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed)
> is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded
> in your letter of complaint.
>
>
> It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant
> caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your
> standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so
> strongly recommended in your letter. Although Ahmed is a homicidal
> sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to
> what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him
> overcome these character flaws.
>
>
> Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural
> differences we understand that you plan to offer counseling and home
> schooling. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in
> hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple
> items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him
> to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also
> expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common
> household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up,
> unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.
>
>
> Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except
> sexually), since he views all females as a subhuman form of property.
>
>
> This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been
> known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with
> the new dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire.
> I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burqa --
> over time. Just remember that it is all part of "respecting his
> culture and his religious beliefs".
>
>
> Wasn't that how you put it?
>
>
> Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like
> you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job. You take good
> care of Ahmed - and remember, we'll be watching.
>
>
> Good luck!
>
>
> Cordially, your friend,
>
>
> George W. Bush
Answer:
wat the heck........but funny.....
|
LARK feasible?
Question:
A person wrote a letter to the White House complaining about the treatment of a captive taken during the Afghanistan war. Attached is a copy of a letter they received back:
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C.
Dear Concerned Citizen:
Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. My administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington.
You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like you, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short.
In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter.
Ahmed's meal requirements are simple, but we strongly suggest serving meals that do not require utensils, particularly knives and forks. Also, these should be "one-handed" foods; Ahmed will not eat with his left hand since he uses it to wipe himself after purging his bowels (which he will do in your yard) - but look on the bright side.. no increase in the toilet paper bill. He generally bathes quarterly with the change of seasons, assuming that it rains, and he washes his clothes simultaneously. This should help with your water bill. Also, your new friend has a really bad case of body lice that hasn't been completely remedied.
Please heed the large orange notice attached to your detainee's cage: "Does not play well with others." Although Ahmed is sociopathic and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. He will bite you, given the chance, but his rabies test came back negative so not to worry.
We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We do not suggest that you ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.
Ahmed will not wish to interact with your wife or daughters (except sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of property. However, he will be eager to assist with the education of your sons; have available for their use several copies of the Koran. Oh - and rest assured he absolutely loves animals, especially cats and dogs. He prefers them roasted, but raw is fine, too, if they aren't more than 2 or 3 days dead.
Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you, who know so much, keep us informed of the proper way to do our job. We think this watching over each other's shoulder is such a good way for people to interact that we will be sending a team of federal officials with expertise in your line of work to your place of business soon, just to help you do your job better. Don't be concerned that they have the power to close your business, seize your property, and arrest you for any violation of the 4,850,206 laws, codes, regulations and rules that apply to your profession. They're really there just to make sure you're doing everything the proper way. That is what you wanted, right?
Well, thank you for this opportunity to interact with such a valued member of the citizenry. You take good care of Ahmed - and remember...we'll be watching.
Cordially, your buddy,
George Dubya
Answer:
Untrue Urban Legend... but point was well made by whoever really created this.
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